Developing Relationships

We are now at midterm of the Fall Semester and many of our new students have developed the friendships and social groups that they may keep for the next four years. I think that it is great that our freshmen are making friends, I am a little concerned that many of them may be a little too exclusive at this point of their time in college. I say this because I am already hearing from students who have decided on their apartment groups for next school year.

Although I have no specific research to prove the next point, I do believe limited friendships can be one of the biggest reasons why students decide not to return as student. Here are three reasons: first, I think that some students leave because our students are not reaching out to them and befriending them (especially obvious with our transfer students). Second, some students do not like the person they are become, because of their friendships; these students believe that they cannot pursue new relationships due to pressures from, or proximity to current friends and these students will leave campus and blame it on the school rather than hurt their friends. The third reason results from the changing nature of personalities and friendships; as students develop as individuals or they tend to draw closer to particular friends, and other friendships can become less significant; causing frustrated friends who sometimes leave the institution rather than develop new friendships.

As Residence Life staff we should be cognizant of the development of tight friendships, cliques, and even couples who tend to be isolated from their peers. Our job is to nurture relationship development and that should not end in September. Yes, our programming options and events can be used to expand student perspectives, intellectually and socially. However, this should also be the goal in informal settings, by taking time to introduce students to others in the lobby, the cafeteria, or other opportunities that develop. Leaders should take every opportunity to build stronger bonds with people and among people they lead. This is a practice we should develop now, and take with us beyond our time in Residence Life.

Imagine the relationships that could be developed if this was practices within our churches.

Biblical Leadership

When most people think about Spirituality, leadership is not always the first thing that comes to mind. On second thought, this should not be the case since everything about who God is and who we are in God's eyes should be about leadership. God is the ultimate authority and God grants us authority here on Earth. Because of these two truthes, as believers, we should understand leadership, study leadership, and aspire to lead.

Here are some ideas about addressing leadership from a biblical perspective:

1. Bring residents together and make a list of various leaders in each of your lives. Encourage each resident to make a list of leaders that impact them and to pray for that list together and afterwards on a regular basis.

2. Have a group Bible study on a leader or various leaders in the Bible (ie. Nehemiah, Joseph, Jesus, Peter, Abraham, Joshua, Esther etc.).

3. Have a speaker come in to talk about the importance of Mentoring and Discipleship. Challenge each of your residents to cultivate these types of relationships with other students, faculty and staff.

4. Discuss the importance of godly leadership within a Christian marriage and family. How should a godly woman lead their family; how should a godly man lead
their family.

5. Have a prominent Christian leader in their field come in to talk about bringing their faith into the workplace. Have them discuss the value that their faith and scriptural truths have on them and their leadership.

6. Have a week (or month) that is devoted to servant leadership opportunities. Have residents look for ways to serve their fellow students or other people at MVNU or in a surrounding community.

7. Have someone come and talk to your residents about how to share their testimony in a way that focuses on God's work in their lives and gives Him the glory.

8. Have your residents do a spiritual gifts test or another type of strengths test that helps them understand how they can better serve the Kingdom.

9. Discuss education and knowledge and its value in christian leadership. Ask: What is God's opinion of an individual's education or the gaining of knowledge? When (if ever) do educational goals conflict with God's will?

10. I would like to see it this last topic can be discussed in the comment section of this blog: Discuss the current trend of how Christians are choosing not to serve in leadership roles. Is this biblical or is this rooted in some other philosophy? Talk about reasons why this may be happening and what impact will this have on ministry in general.